Oh the infamous “love” question!! My love life is neither here nor there. I am trying to focus on me for a change and I am trying to figure myself out before I go and throw a boy in the mix! I think I will find a guy who is a great fit for me once I learn more about who I am and what I want!

They borrowed the instructions from Kellie — who tells SOAPnet.com they got them a little wrong. Here they are so you can recreate this southern delicacy at home!

Ingredients:

Green Tomatoes

Ice Water

White cornmeal

Olive Oil

Salt and Pepper

Slice the tomatoes thinly and place them in the ice water.  One by one, remove from the water, season with salt and pepper to taste, and coat in cornmeal (do not add egg!). Place in pan filled with olive oil, heated at medium-high. Cook until browned.

My birthday party was an eye-opening moment. Here I have my best friend confessing his love for me in front of everyone, and then a mere few seconds later he is hanging all over some blond! That totally sucked, but let’s be honest…we were all expecting it. Trust is a main factor in any relationship, and I have always had that with Russ. But then again we have never been ‘romantical’ before! Considering that I have had my heart crushed before, I was most certainly scared to put myself out there again. I thought to myself, “Who better to trust and take a risk on than my best friend?” I thought that I should at least give him a chance. Maybe Shea was right…he cannot be trusted. But what is flirting, really? He DID tell everyone there that he loved me. Maybe he will just be a flirt his whole life. But can I live with that? Would he ever take it a step further? I guess I am going to just to trust and give love a chance…I hope it doesn’t come back to bite me.

When I got the phone call about being let go from my job, I wasn’t all that surprised. The economy is in a slump these days and having a personal assistant is a luxury. I never saw myself doing that job forever (or very long, anyway) so I was sort of relieved when it happened. Now I can go out and pursue other opportunities and careers that have always tickled my fancy! Yes I need to pay the bills, but I only have to support myself and Z. So this is the time to take risks and try something new. I plan on jumping in head first and seeing if I can swim with the big fish!

I was a little nervous about giving those speeches for Katie King… if you couldn’t tell! I took a public speaking class in college and when I got up in front of those few people, forgot everything I was taught! I started to sway back and forth, my perspiration level was through the roof, and my mind went totally blank. After that I decided to call up Emily and ask her advice, since she is so calm and collected speaking in front of large groups. She helped me out by being brutally honest…she told me my speech was awful and to just talk to them, not speak at them. What do you know? It worked! That’s why Emily does that for a living and not me!!

I tend to really throw myself into any and everything that I am doing. I figure everyone makes mistakes and I am no different. If I mess up, I will just learn from it and try it again. When walking into a new gig I always give it my all and really devote myself to the job at hand. It would have been easy to do the one speech and just give up, but I wanted another crack at it. I knew I could do better. Now… if my love life was easy as giving those speeches I would be in heaven! That makes me think… if I mess up at one speech, realize my mistakes and do better the second time around, then why can’t Russ? Maybe he needs me to look past this first little hiccup… but should I?

You know, it was a little frustrating to have Shea interfering with all the drama that is Russ.  I know that her intentions are good-hearted, but give a guy a break!  He is my best friend, and who would be better to date than your own best friend?  I wish that she could just let me make my own mistakes.  I know that Shea is trying to protect me and is trying to prevent me from yet another broken heart… but that’s life!  I need to get out there and take risks… and Russ is a VERY big risk! If I don’t give Russ a chance I will always wonder, so I will have to truly give it a go and either find the true love of my life or have to turn to Shea and say, “Guess you were right!” I hate to say this, but Shea is usually right…

This birthday was great, but my 21st birthday had to be my absolute favorite!  My best friends in college made it really special and unforgettable.  This birthday, however, was a different one, to say the least!  I have never, and I mean NEVER had a guy boast his love to me using a mic and an amp.  So you can imagine my shock and surprise followed by a big cheesy grin afterwards.  I think between the love announcement, thought of a big yummy cake, cocktails and friends, my head was spinning!

Russ’ toast was sweet but I think that my reaction was hazed by the cocktails and all the previous dancing.  The next day I thought it was sweet, but he has already told me that he loves me… privately.  Why do it again in front of my friends and everyone at the bar?  Was he trying to prove a point? Was he trying to truly show me loves me?  Or… was he just taking a quick jab at Shea???

I may never know…

As the evening wore on I got some insight into just how much Russ really ‘loves’ me.  He was flirting it up with other ladies… at MY BIRTHDAY!!  Common sense should have told me to walk away from the whole Russ relationship right then and there.  It bothered me to see and hear about it… but it’s Russ.  That’s what he does… he flirts with women, and they always flirt right back, even after hearing him tell me that he loves me!

Oh well… I sort of expected all of this.

I absolutely hate the thought of Emily moving to Vegas.  I know that I am being selfish by wanting to keep her here to keep me laughing, flirting and having fun — but Vegas is where Emily should be.  I mean, come on!  Emily IS Vegas… from her hair extensions to her party style, journalistic talent, to her hooker-like shoes, I cannot imagine her anywhere else.  Emily is in her element in Vegas… plus now I can go visit!!

When I was in college I always wanted to live in New York City with my best friend Michelle. However, once I graduated I moved to England for 6 months and I LOVED it! I would love to live there again, for a longer period of time.  And my dream of living in NYC for a few years has never died down… but Louisville is home and always will be!

Hadley at Shea's engagement dinner.

I have to admit that I was totally caught off-guard when Sterling broke up with me. I just needed some space and I didn’t know that he would take it that far. To this day I am still unsure of what I was going to do… be with him or break up. I thought that I would know when I saw him at my front door… but unfortunately my life is not a perfect romantic novel! Of course, it always sucks to get dumped but then I have to face the facts. If I didn’t want to be with him all of the time, then doesn’t that mean that something was missing? Aren’t you suppose to want to spend every waking moment with the one that you love? Life is complicated… and now my LOVE life is even more muddled!

I totally understand why Shea was upset with Emily at lunch. True — a haircut can be a big change in someone’s appearance, but an engagement is a change in someone’s life… forever! I was a little surprised at how Emily couldn’t stop obsessing about her hair… even to simply ogle at the ring. I was WAY more interested to get all of the juicy bits about how Jeff popped the question… I had just been dumped so I needed to hear that love does indeed conquer all and how is does really exist. However, all we really got were some details about Emily’s hair cut and how she could style it. Emily even asked the waiter if he liked girls with short hair!

What can I say… these two girls have different styles as well as different opinions as what constitutes ‘big’ news…

I think that unlike me, Emily wasn’t too into the engagement news for one underlying reason — Emily has never been in love. I have, so I know how much it means when a man that you have such strong feelings for does something so special and momentous.

So, at her engagement dinner, Shea calls my dating pattern immature. At first I was a little put off by her statement. Just because I’m not engaged or married I am immature in my dating? Please. To me, dating is just like shopping. You have to pick things out, try them on and then decide on buying just ONE outfit to wear for the rest of your life. This should be a picky and complicated process. I truly believe that every relationship that I have been in has taught me this: what I want and don’t want in a man. The word immature means ‘young and inexperienced’. I still consider myself blossoming and learning… and that’s what dating is — practice! So, she was right. I am immature when it comes to dating. But I’m having fun doing it! How does the saying go? Practice makes perfect!!

I was happy to help Kellie with her commercial. Kellie has to be one of the most confident, secure ladies I have ever met. She says exactly what she thinks and doesn’t think twice about it. She is bold and to be quite honest — hilarious! She is always making me laugh, so I was sure that the commercial shoot would be a hoot. However, when the camera started rolling, I saw Kellie begin to struggle a bit (and I’m SURE it had nothing to do with me fussing up the cue cards!!). She started to get frustrated, and I don’t blame her! I’m sure that it is very intimidating to have strangers staring at you, camera in your face and me being her cheerleader on the side. The only advice I could think of was to tell her to forget about the cue cards and speak to camera like she was talking to me. And what do you know! It worked! The few takes that Kellie did while simply talking to the camera were natural and just what I wanted…the Kellie we all know and love!

Jealous is the wrong word for how I felt about Russ’ date, Hannah. Surprised and a little let down, sure. But it’s Russ, so what was I expecting? Him waiting for me, roses in hand and a big cheesy grin on his face? Um…no. Hannah was a beautiful girl, and not unlike the other girls that Russ dates. Blonde, tall, easy on the eyes, bulging from the bra and in desperate need of a cheeseburger.

My favorite part about the whole situation is that we practically had on the same dress, just in different colors. Ok, I’m sure every woman can agree with me on this next statement. You know how you see a beautiful dress on a mannequin in the store but when you put it on it just doesn’t have that same va-va-voom effect? Well now imagine having to be out in public standing next to the mannequin all night. Ugh. Anyway, I was nice and friendly to Hannah as I always am to Russ’ dates. Russ always asks me what I think of the girls and I always say the same thing…”She’s nice”. But after a while I was finding it funny watching Russ try to juggle both of us!

Hadley goes campaigning.

This episode was full of blind dates — I have been on enough blind dates for every girl in America! And yes, I have had enough blind dating disasters to last a life time.

The worst ever was when I was set up with a guy who was supposedly ‘amazing’. Now, I’m smart enough to steer clear of committing to a dinner, so I suggested a walk in the park. So the ‘amazing’ guy wheels up at my place and exits the car with a teeny tiny Chihuahua dog. He carried, yes carried, the dog up to me and introduced the dog as ‘Princess Polly’. This should have been my first sign. He then sets the pup down and she proceeds to drop a deuce in my front yard. He then scooped the poop and carried it throughout the entirety of our date (even though we passed multiple trash receptacles). We walked and talked and I soon realized it was going no where fast. PS. He was still carrying the dog. So then he suggests that we get some pizza. I told him that I had already eaten, but he asked me to join him none-the-less. I went, we sat outside, and Princess Polly sat across from me… in the seat. He ordered the most massive pizza, taking it FOREVER to cook. The pizza was covered in meat products and as he chowed out, he told me about his digestive problem and how the food just goes right through him. I sat with Princess Polly while he was in the bathroom for 15 minutes. Come on… you can’t even make this stuff up! He then walked me back to my door and then made his move. He attacked with all tongue and I ducked to get out of the way. I was unsuccessful and he ended up licking my cheek all the way to my ear. That was our first and only date to this day.

Nice guy, just not for me!I would totally agree to a makeover! How fun is that?! Makeup, lashes, tight little outfits, teased hair… But when it comes to my hair, no cutting! I have pretty much had the same hairstyle for years… like, since middle school. I will color my hair, curl it, straighten it, wear it up and down…but will not cut it. I have even thought about thick, blunt bangs but chicken out every time! I wish I had enough guts to chop it all off but the thought turns my stomach. I commend Emily for cutting her hair (or extensions, at least!). I tried to be the voice of reason…”It will grow back, it’s just hair!” But if the scissors got near my tresses I would be a big hot mess myself!

I absolutely LOVE Emily’s new cut!! I think it is edgy and gives her hair some attitude! Seeing Emily getting her hair chopped made me want to cut mine (but only for a split second!). I think short hair works on Emily. The new style is just that… it’s a style. It is super fun and hey, you only live once so she went for it! I think getting her hair cut was a drastic and superb choice! I didn’t think the girl could get any more sexy…but she did after a quick visit to the hairstylist!

The Sterling issue…I had my heart broken, crushed, demolished, smashed, bruised and squashed a few years ago. It took me a long time to even consider dating again, and when I finally did I went out with a full suit of armor. As soon as I can feel someone trying to get in I act defensively and back up… I always seem to find something, anything to blame when I start backing up. I always always always back up. I’m not sure that I can love someone again, and I’m not sure that I really want to try. My guard always seems to be up and in the way. I need a way to let myself love again.

I thought that with Sterling, I could let him in. But relationships can be scary…I approach them with my hands up in fists.

Sterling was a little overwhelming to me. I cannot be with someone who wants to be with me 24/7. I need a little time with the girls, time to myself, and time to run some errands! My need for space has been one that has prevented me from giving love a real shot.

On a happier note — I decided that it was time to take control of my career life and help out Katie King with her campaigning. I have volunteered quite a bit in my past, so this was nothing new to me. I used to volunteer with elementary school students and I would tutor them after school. It was always very rewarding and it made me feel as though I was making a difference.

I just hope that this Katie King gig will lead to a job that can pay the bills and has room to grow!

Hadley

I have always enjoyed sports, boating, four-wheeling and camping. Growing up in Owensboro, my family and I always spent many hours out on the breeze way, talking and having drinks. I actually enjoy being outdoors more-so than being in! My parents have a farm, where we spend every Thanksgiving, and we have hay rides and spend most of the day out on the porch. Being in Kentucky, I would say that most of the enjoyable activities are outside.

I was a tomboy at heart growing up! I was always getting dirty and riding my bike through town with my friends. I was the catcher for my softball team and didn’t mind squatting in the dirt. However, I was the catcher who had a bow in her hair and a compact in the dug-out!!

All that outdoorsiness aside, I am pretty sure that none of us caught anything on our fishing trip but a bunch of gossip and a promise for a make-over between Shea and Emily… and things got a little unpredictable… kind of like those worms! First off, come on ladies! They are just worms… they don’t even have teeth! Its not like you could lose a finger or anything! They were slimy, but hey, so are most of the guys that we date!

I consider myself more a catch-and-release kind of girl… both in fishing and in dating! I can never seem to hook anything worth taking home, stuffing and proudly placing above the fireplace!

My fashion and my taste change as often as my boyfriends! My outfits can run anywhere from flower child to dressy chic, modern classic to funky urbanite. I love to shop at vintage stores and find that perfect, eclectic piece that can go with any outfit. Not having oodles of cash to spend on clothes, I have to be creative and work on looking great with a tight budget.

I actually got “best dressed” in high school and have always tried to look a little different from everyone else. My best friend always looks at my outfits and says, ” I like it, but I wouldn’t wear it!”

I would definitely try out some else’s style… but just for a night! I would never change my style… its me, a little kooky at times but always entertaining!

My favorite junk food is CHOCOLATE CUPCAKES!! You know the kind.. with the white cream icing in the middle. They are by far my weakness in life! I know that Kellie thinks I need to eat healthier things, like rabbit food, but I just cannot help myself. The saying is true for me, chocolate is THIS girl’s best friend!

Before the camping trip some of the girls and myself went to stock up on “supplies” for the big weekend. Ok, when I think “camping trip”, I think about hot dogs, burgers, cheetos, beer, candy… and of course, s’mores. Well Kellie did not agree with my grocery shopping so I had to sneak in some sweet stuff to munch on… and I was successful!

Speaking of Kellie, I was completely shocked by what she told us at the cabin…I had no idea that she was carrying around so much sadness. I love Kellie and seeing her sad is the worst. Kellie is usually very upbeat and cracking jokes (albeit mostly dirty!), so when I saw her tears I knew that something very serious was going on. I know that I cannot relate to her sadness, but I wanted to be there for her. I always call Kellie “mom” jokingly because she is always telling me to sit up straight and to eat something green. She will make a wonderful mother some day…I was just devastated that her dream of becoming a mother had been taken away from her at a point when she wanted a baby so much.

When Emily asked Shea about her dating bubble — I am usually the mediator when the tensions are at a high — but come on! This was hilarious! I was sitting back thinking, “ok… this could get bad or it could end up in a laugh (probably more so from me than Emily or Shea). However…when Shea asked Emily “Are you serious?” I knew that things were going to get heated…and not just from the camp fire. Shea doesn’t think that she dates a ‘type’ of man, and Emily is pretty sure that she does. In reality we all have a type…and it can range from good ole southern boy to the mischievous party guy…Personally, my dating pool runs very deep and has MANY types of fish in the pond!

When the girls were having this particular convo, one could look around and see the rest of us squirming like fish just plucked from the pond. The one thing that I love about Emily is that if she has a question, she will come right out and ask it. She will never talk about you behind your back. The fact that Shea answered a question with another question was priceless…who was getting interviewed now?! I could see that Shea felt attacked, and Emily did not back down. I hate to admit this, but I kind of loved it! I decided to sit back and let them work this one out…I was just trying to toast my mallow for my s’more!

In this episode you met my mom, who is the most incredible woman I have ever come across. I feel blessed every day to call her mine. She is more than a mom…she is my friend, my mentor, my smile when I feel down, my voice of reason and she has to be the most important person in my life. We talk every day on the phone, even if its just to tell her that I ruined yet another pair of pants in the dryer or that my latest date totally bombed.

By the way, I absolutely agree with my mom’s assessment — I am like the guy in my relationships. I want space, I don’t want to talk on the phone 24/7, I can go to the store by myself, I can get my own oil changed, and above all I never get too close to a man. Two years ago I had my heart broken beyond repair, and now I keep all men at an arms length. My mom says that I am usually backing up even before the first date. I know that I need to heed her advice and really put myself out there and give love a chance…but the last time I did that I got my heart handed back to me in an irreparable state. I don’t know if I can ever live through that again. Why take the chance? That old saying goes “It’s better to have love and have lost then never to have loved at all.” I totally and completely disagree…

Cooking With Sterling

The funniest thing happened after the show premiered! Ok…so I was at the bar with Russ, dancing and having fun, when this girl grabbed me and gasped. I start looking around thinking that either my hair was on fire or maybe she was another one of Russ’ girlfriends (haha, just kidding!). However, it wasn’t either of the above… she had recognized me from the preview and wanted a picture OF me. I, of course, agreed but asked that she at least take the photo WITH me! I have to say, I think by the end of it all I was more excited than her! It is a wonderful feeling when people gasp and smile when they see you!

Louisville, again, is a small town with all of the flare of a big city. So people have been very supportive and encouraging when it comes to the show. I think the locals are glad that Louisville, which I believe is the sixth character, is portrayed in a positive light. It is a gorgeous town with lovely people, and I am proud to call it home. I just hope that Louisville is proud to call us its Belles!

Everything that went down with Sterling in this episode…it’s a sticky situation. I want a serious relationship, really I do. However, I cannot stand to feel smothered. Sterling needs A LOT of my time — every second, actually. I need a man who gives me time to myself, time to hang out with my girls, time to even do my laundry! Sterling is such a gentleman and so sweet, but sometimes he can make me feel like I am suffocating. I want a man to enjoy time with…not a man that takes up all of my time. My mom has always said: “You don’t want a man that you can live with, you want a man that you cannot live without.” This is sound advice…and Sterling hasn’t even given me the opportunity to miss him or see what it is like without him. I just need some space…and quite a bit of it!

By the way, Sterling is quiet by nature, but he seemed to be a little bit more shy once the cameras started rolling. Can you blame him? He is not an actor and has never been in front of the camera, so it was to be expected. He is actually very funny and witty, which is a side of him that you don’t get to see.

On the other side of the boy spectrum, I wasn’t concerned about Russ offering me Sterling advice even knowing about his feelings. Russ is a great friend, and I always believe that he has my best interest at heart. Speaking of hearts, a little piece of me thought that Russ was speaking with his. Russ is the kind of guy who wears his feelings on his sleeve, and he always goes after what he wants. I think that he was being honest in saying that he didn’t think that Sterling and I would last…but maybe it was wishful thinking! Russ cares about me more than any man ever has and my happiness means so much to him. I think he wants me happy in love — and I think he believes that he is just the guy to do that!

Working with Kellie to come up with the face and name of the matchmaking business was a bit tedious, but really fun! We came up with some names that were hilarious, but not very professional. I was thinking about names that would make people think about finding their soul mates, butterflies in the stomach, and that gooey feeling that you get when you are in love. Kellie had some different ideas! She wanted some thing a bit more edgy…and I think she nailed it! Come on, Dating Sucks is a great name for a match making company. It’s raw and honest… just like Kellie!

Funny faces aside, my friends and family are being extremely supportive of me as always. They have always stood by my decisions and actions … even when not the best! Now as for Louisville… everyone has been amazing! I have been out and about town and people have actually recognized me — and not because they sat next to me in class or danced with me at a pub, but because they saw a commercial or an episode. I have to admit, it’s kind of crazy to think that people know all about me and I know nothing about them!

Hadley at the Charity Event

The charity event in tonight’s episode — where do I even begin! We only had about 5 days to plan the whole event, so the pressure between all of us was at an absolute high. We all came together in the end, but I was disappointed in a few of the girls. Some people (who I will not mention) did not even make an effort to be ready as our guests arrived! Clearly some people do not know how to host an event (not that I do, but I know that my presence is needed!). I was glad that we raised some money for a good cause and I all can say is that I hope we learn from this and plan WAY in advance next time!

Hadley and Sterling

I actually met Sterling in the elevator of my building. It was my birthday and I had just been out gathering up ‘party supplies’ (aka – booze). My arms were full and he offered to help me carry everything to my condo. I gracefully declined, but was intrigued by his smile and gentleman-like behavior. It took him 6 months to later slip a note under my door asking me out. Of course, I agreed to meet up and the rest is history!

The other girls gave me advice about Sterling … but none that I hadn’t heard before. I am the one in this relationship and I am the one who has to live with the decisions that I make. I may make mistakes, but I will learn from them.

Meanwhile — I had NO idea Russ had feelings for me! Okay, okay…the thought had crossed my mind before, but I always pushed it to the back of my mind because he is always surrounded by beautiful blondes… so what in the world would he want with me?! He is a flirt by nature. I have seen him work the crowd before – going from lady to lady – talking, touching, laughing, leaning close, giving compliments. He has never done that with me, however, so I always thought that we were strictly friends. Yes, we have had our moment of smooching a few times, but that was always with beer goggles securely fastened to my face and dancing shoes strapped to my feet. So yes. I was shocked. I really didn’t know how to react. I do have a boyfriend so what does he expect me to do? He knows that I am very loyal and that nothing would ever happen while I was in a committed relationship.

However…I cannot help but wonder, “What if?” I mean, come on, you always hear people saying that you should marry your best friend. So why not at least date mine?

So if you were thinking about setting Hadley up...

First and foremost, I expect a man to be a MAN. My mom tells me all the time to stop dating the ‘boys’ and to date a real man.

My ideal man would be mannerly but spontaneous, ambitious but not too structured, funny but with a hint of a serious side…and lets face it, he needs to be a little easy on the eyes!! I do expect a man to open the door (only if we are dating, of course!!) and to recognize when I need to be independent and want to do something for myself.