I had heard so many things about Russ, and honestly, when I finally met him I thought: “This is the ladies’ man? He looks like a kid.” I was kind of shocked. And then I got to know him, and I kind of got it. He’s sweet and endearing. I guess he grows on you. He does adore Hadley! Honestly people if I’m not asked and and I don’t have a VERY strong opinion then I don’t put my nose where it doesn’t belong.

I wasn’t worried about Hadley in this situation. She wasn’t going into a possible relationship with Russ blind, she was already skeptical about it. I knew she would come up with the right decision. Had she been going into it with her eyes completely closed, I think I would have voiced more concern. Or, had he really seemed like a “bad boy.” I think Russ is pretty harmless.
So when Hadley did come to me my advice was basically – go for it but be aware. You’ll know if it feels right and if it starts to go south….get out fast so that you are able to salvage your friendship!

I felt that moving to Chicago was necessary for Jeff and I to go to the next level in our relationship. And you know – him moving is not an option. He has a son and a business that he has built for 25 years. Of course it occurred to me that I was going down the same path of putting someone else’s needs or emotions or feelings ahead of mine. Or that I was entering into this with hopes that Jeff would change his mind…Let me make this clear. I AM NOT THAT GIRL!!!!! I will only have a child with someone who wants a child!!!!

That being said, I know that I would like to have child in the future, but not this exact moment. I have a lot on my plate and I have lots of rebuilding to do before I bring a baby imto this world. I will do so when I am ready and I will make that decision when the time comes.  For now I am happy with my relationship and I am not going to sabotage it. You gotta live today before you live tomorrow. It’s like what I said with Hadley – If you don’t do it, you’re never going to know. You can’t shoot things down all of your life.
Besides, I’m keeping my home in Kentucky, I have that safety net. If it doesn’t work, I can always come back! And whenever I need to do business in Louisville, the commute is very easy.

I took tae kwon do as a kid – my little sister wanted to take lessons, so I took lessons with her. I also boxed for a long time. So I’ve done a lot of hand to hand combat. At karate, Julie and I did these different drills where we had to sweep people’s legs, and the first time I did the guy fell down and was like – “you’re not playing around!” Haha. I am pretty athletic so anything physical comes natural.

It was funny seeing Julie embrace this really masculine activity though, because she is such a girly girly. She was a bit awkward and hesitant but she worked it out.

Kellie and Jeff

Of course I believe in astrology! Just like anything else –you have your quacks. I am aware my next statement my be an oxymoron, but here goes, yes I belief there are legitimate astrologists! I definitely do not base my life decisions on my horoscope, in other words it’s not the gospel! I will tell you this, I do subscribe to Town and Country and that lady is quite good!! If nothing else it’s entertaining. As for the tarot card reading, she hit the nail on the head more than once.

She said that the big issue with Jeff and our relationship is the “tongue” – what you say (If youre anything like me, get your mind out of the gutter). Jeff is not a game player. In other words: if you feel something, you say it, you discuss it, and you communicate about it versus playing games. And if you go down that road, of trying to manipulate him? Then it’s a lose-lose. He’s hardcore, he won’t even venture into that territory and he’ll basically cut you off of all communications, he’s brutal.

One thing that’s positive about it though is that you know what you’re going to get. We can be brutally honest with one another and there is no guessing game.

Now that I’m moved into my house and I have all the major construction done (I did a lot of construction on my house,  with the exception of the brick exterior, the inside is new) the next step is the aesthetic decoration. But before I go down that road I made a commitment to myself that I must purge. I mean, you would think that five humans live in my home, it’s ridiculous. So I completely agree with Jeff’s closet challenge in this episode. He may go a little overboard, but for the most part he’s spot on. Ugh….I hate when he’s right.

I don’t know why I’ve even held on to some of this stuff for so long – it’s that mentality of “he who dies with the most wins” or “I may need that someday”.

I’m like that with other things too, I can be compulsive, I hate to run out of things. You will never run out of toilet paper or paper towels or anything like that in my home. I have at least two packages on hand at all times. Anything that can be used in a practical way or in my daily routine then there is an abundance of it. It’s very OCD. I realize this is a bit abnormal but NOT something I am willing to change!

Obviously, having a child is something I don’t take lightly. I’m 33 and I don’t have children, and there’s a reason for that (even when I was pregnant, it wasn’t planned). I know this sounds bizarre, but (and yes, this goes completely against our constitution) I believe people should have to pass a test before they become a parent. If you choose to become a parent, it’s the most important thing you’ll ever do. It’s bewildering to me that people become parents, especially teenagers, and they have no idea what they are getting themselves into. And the potential damage they can do…It lies in their hands – not only what they do in their lives, but their children’s lives. So, I don’t take it lightly and it’s something that I think about on a regular basis. I know that I only want to do that with a person that I feel would make, an exemplary father. And I also think it’s important that we understand one another’s roles in parenting and see eye to eye. I want him to want to have a child, but if he doesn’t, he doesn’t. I’m not the girl who’s going to try to change his mind. That’s not me, that’s not who I am.

For now I don’t see any need to create drama. So I prefer to just let things play out and see what happens.

Now, keep in mind I am well aware that some of my stress is self inflicted.  So I am very much about living drama-free for the next…well, the rest of my life. With an exception of this incident I typically receive Botox every 6-9 months.  I like to wait for full range of motion to return before I paralyze myself again. Perhaps I will have an IV drip in my later years but for now I do it when I’m in the mood. That may be once a year or may be less. It may be more.   

Watching Hadley’s date — sure,  I would go out of town for a date! In fact I have.  Now, I made sure that I had proper sleeping arrangements… by that I mean The 4 Seasons, Peninsula, Ritz, St. Regis and also –sleeping arrangements alone! Just because you fly me to see you doesn’t mean I will be asking you to join me in bed. Like Granny says, “why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?” 

Everyone’s been asking about Bubbles. And here’s the thing — in the midst of my separation, one of our agreements was that I would not take our family pets. We had 2 dogs and I knew that as much as I loved them – my stepson would, of course, be devastated. So I would “housesit” for my ex when he was vacationing. Yes, I know it sounds a little strange, but hey, whatever works. Well, after fulfilling a 2 week long duty of “housesitting,” I was terribly sad when I left them. In hindsight, it was a whole bundle of emotions, leaving what was once my home, missing my family, etc. (FYI, probably not healthy to go emerse yourself in your old life when you are trying to move forward).

When I finally made my departure, I was a bumbling mess! I knew right then and there that I needed to get myself another Yorkie. So I called the breeder that was responsible for Thistle, my first, to see if she had a baby for me. Indeed, it was my lucky day. Not only did she have a dog but she had Thistles’ neice. Without even a pic I hopped in my car and away I went! The rest is history. 

Bubbles will soon be three and I cannot tell you how much love I have for that little girl.  She’s got quite the persinality and I just love it.  Shes infectious!  Everybody loves her, especially Jeff. (its kinda funny to see Bubbles prancing along side him)  Honestly, there are times when think Jeff may love her even more than I do!  

Although she’s not your typical 3 pounder. She loves her walks, plays fetch, chews on bones and yes, is obsessed with Becky.  Let me give you a brief explanation of Becky — when I was unpacking I came across a Yorkshire terrier stuffed animal that mom had given my stepson at some point.  He had given it to me because he thought that would help me when I missed our “family” dogs. I know, that’s just plain sweet! So I thought it would be a fun little toy for Bubbie to play with. Well, little did I know that she would take such a liking to her.  It was love at first sight.             

As for her humping, I say, “hump on, Bubbie!” Come on, if it works for her - then who am I to judge? I do limit her time with Becky. She has become a bit obsessive recently and I just find it obnoxious. So Bubbles and Becky have conjugal visits. For 1 hour per day she is free to hump til her little heart’s content. Otherwise it’s the daily duties of sleeping, eating, chewing on bones, and barking.  I just can’t bear to separate the two permanently! 

You can even check her out on Facebook. Her name is Bubbles Lynne Frey.

I loved the fact that Julie was ready and willing to go on her date!  Julie loves a witty guy and I knew that she was going to find Cody fun and intriguing. So yes, I was very excited for their date and just estatic when I heard how well it went.  Can’t wait to see what happens in episode 7!!  

That probably seems odd, because the viewer may see me as very dependent. You guys have just seen me go through a tough time, I was absolutely heartbroken from my divorce and I would have done anything in the world to make it work. But at some point you can only ask the other person in the relationship to do so much. My life has changed and I am very happy with the way my relationship is right now. Don’t get me wrong, we have our ups’ndowns, just like everyone but overall life is good!

Hadley…..all I have to say, take a deep breath, absorb everything you’re going through right now, and just enjoy. I always felt like Sterling and Hadley lacked chemistry, to me it felt forced. That good ol’boy charm is what she was attracted to but at the same time it’s what pulled her away. Good thing for Sterling, he beat her to the punch. Honestly, I could see the relief in her face when she told me. In the end Hadley’s ego was a little bruised but at least her heart was intact!

Now down to the good stuff….Emily and Shea. I love them both but boy, they are polar opposites. I did feel bad for Shea, she was so excited to share the news and all Emily could talk about was her hair. Ugh…but at the same time, you have to keep things in perspective. Emily is 24. As odd as this may sound, Emily’s haircut is just as important to her as Shea’s engagement was to her. I’m not saying it’s appropriate! Honestly, I am sure Emily wasn’t even aware of what she was doing

That ’s the difference between Shea and I though – I would have looked at Emily and said, “enough with the hair, Jeff proposed”.

Wow, the sleepover fashion show. Sadly enough, those are all my clothes. One thing I never throw away is clothes. I have, pretty much, every pair of jeans I’ve ever worn in my life.

Part of the issue is that a lot of it had been packed, or in storage for years. And when I moved into this new house, I unpacked it ALL. I am in the process of getting rid of it now. What a job!

The BEST part of the night was Emily’s makeup and dancing. She looked like the hamburgler. And then the dancing…it was a trainwreck. Soooo much fun!!

I wasn’t disheartened at all by the other girls’ reactions to the commercial shoot. I was laughing and crying at the same time. I was like, squatting down into a chair rolled up in a ball, just covering my eyes and peeking through my fingers. And that “dating sucks” song was in the background,? Oh, it was just horrible. Did ya see the sweat running down my chest?

Btw, I was “advised” to do my commercial. I had no desire what so ever! Against my better judgment, I tried it. I did not like it – I will never do it again. Just like that first meeting, I learned I need to go with my gut when it comes to my business.

I have no pity for anyone when it comes to blind dates. When I was in high school, my cousin set me up on a blind date. The guy picked me up, and then took me back to his home, where he pulled out these coupon books. And he told me – we’re going to Arby’s, but you can only eat one of these designated choices.

We’re supposed to go see a movie afterwards, but things weren’t going so well. So (and this is horrible…not one of my prouder moments in life) I asked to use his phone (we’re talking pre cell-phone….you know one of the bag phones) I called my girlfriend Christina and find out she was going to a party. Hmmm….party or lame date??? So I I told her to meet me at the food mart in thirty minutes – I’m going to tell this guy I have to be home early, and you’re picking me up because you’re going with me to my “family reunion” tomorrow.

So I tell this poor guy that I was really tired, and I wanted to skip the movie. He takes me to the food mart, but of course, it’s not just my girlfriend there. People begin to pour put of her car….just visualize a clown car!. I was soooo busted. At that point, what’ya gonna do?!?! I just said “Thank you!” and in the car I went (with the rest of the clowns). It wasn’t one of the nicer things I’ve done. But you know what – I was 16! The last thing I wanted was to be on a date with a guy who wouldn’t even let me order a Beef and Cheddar!Being on the other side of the “set up,” there are plusses and minuses when it comes to setting up people you know. With my mom, I know her so well, and I know what she would want. When I met that first guy, I immediately knew he was not it. But I was supposed to send her out on a date in just a couple of hours. So I just approached Keith, out of the blue. I asked: are you single, will you go on a date with my mom in 2 hours, and will you be on TV? He said yes to everything, so it worked out. It was a total fluke, but it seems like they had a nice time so we’ll have to wait and see!!

Honestly, nothing REALLY stresses me out. I am who I am, I’m pretty confident when I do something, and I like to have a very positive attitude. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. I’m not arranging a marriages here. In a perfect world all of the people I set up will run away, get married, have babies and live happily ever after (right next door to Hadley’s mom and Dad, hahaha). Seriously people, it’s one date, if it doesn’t work you move forward. Pretty simple!!!

It helps that my mom was positive and excited about her date. Her positive energy transfers to me, and then I’m really excited about something. On the other hand, Julie was so hesitant and negative about the experience from the start. Typically, in a business like this – people come to you wanting dates, it’s not like you’re out begging people to go on dates. And that’s what I felt like I was doing with Julie, I felt like I was begging her. And because there was so much negativity in the beginning, it kind diffused my excitement about potentially putting a good match together.

I should mention, since at this point, people have really seen a lot of me crying and dealing with difficult times in my life – I am generally SO positive. I really am not a negative nancy at all. And if I feel that coming from someone…I usually evacuate, asap!

The other big thing in this episode is Emily’s hair. Here’s the deal with me…I have had the same haircut all of my life, well at least for the last 25 years. I have really curly hair. And it’s not like these big beautiful round bouncy curls. It’s like, nappy curly hair. If I cut my hair short, I would look like Michael Jackson at the age of 5. So I’m really limited. And I’ve always said that I think that there’s a certain time in life when women should really not wear their hair too long, but I’m kind of stuck. So I’ll ultimately be like, Laura Ingalls, and wear my hair back in a bun for the rest of my life.

So no, I’m not scared of change – in this instance, I just know it’s not going to work. So why try it?

My style is very classic. I tend to not take myself too seriously though, so I would absolutely go out dressed as one of the other girls, I could care less. My mood drives what I wear, but so does the situation. I don’t think it’s necessarily appropriate to wear a skirt with your monkey hanging out to church, but if you’re going to go out to a bar – yeah, hey, maybe it works!
Yes sometimes I can be a bit motherly, especially with these girls. I’m older and I feel like I’ve lived alot. I can be very nurturing…but I usually know when to shut my mouth! (I said usually.)

Okay – with the grocery shopping last night – I looked like I totally contradicted myself. But here’s the deal: I have a really big issue with processed foods. If something can survive in a cabinet for longer than a week, I don’t think you should put it in your body on a consistent basis. Is it okay to eat a Twinkie every once in awhile? Yes. Anything in moderation is fine. Sweet little Hadley loves her junk food, especially the little chocolate cupcakes with cream filling…yeah you know the kind. Well we had just had a conversation and I had suggested that if she is determined to eat those she should include some fresh veggies in her diet to help flush out the toxins. Again…anything in moderation is fine. Just like any good mother (wink & smile) I was only allowing a percentage of our cart to be filled with junk: one box of cupcakes was sufficient! So believe me when I say, I am not above eating unhealthy food. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Being at the lake was extremely difficult for me. Up until that weekend my schedule had been so hectic and I was just going through the motions. Once I had a little alone time that’s when everything just hit me. I love to cook when I am feeling overwhelmed…it’s an escape. So I thought we were in the perfect place for unhealthy food…I got my fix and Hadley got hers! Not to mention, I was in dire need of fried green tomatoes.

There are three things I address in this episode, my eating disorder, my past drug use, and my miscarriage. First, my eating disorder – and this is not something I am sure everyone will get from watching the show — my eating disorder is in what I like to call in remission, and has been for almost five years. But when I am having issues (for example when I was dealing with the resolution of my divorce) that’s when I have to become ultra-aware and sensitive to make sure those unhealthy behaviors don’t sneak up on me. It’s like being a recovering alcoholic: even if you’re in recovery you’re still an alcoholic. Just wanted to clarify because that is something I am very proud of. Lots of work has gone into my “sobriety”.

The drug use was a problem in my past– but not as bad as it may have seemed on the show. It started to interfere with my interpersonal relationships, and that was a red flag for me, so I stopped it before it became a big deal — I never went to treatment. I said last night that I had to have my septum repaired. But there were a lot of factors outside of drugs in that case. I have severe allergies (I have to get four allergy shots a week!) and I have used allergy nasal medications for a long time. My doctor said that it was a combination of those things, plus genetically, my septum was very thin. Anyhow – I’m not trying to minimize the issue, but there were multiple reasons.

So the eating disorder was much more difficult for me than drugs ever could be. I always say to people – you have to eat food every day. You don’t have to be around drugs every day. And 80% of our population struggles with eating disorders. People don’t understand that overeating is a an eating disorder too. You don’t have to be anorexic or bulimic to have an eating disorder. So I think it’s a much more difficult issue, and one that should be taken seriously.

Finally – my miscarriage was very difficult, but it wasn’t a big deal opening up to the girls about it. I’m a very private person. I don’t like to share a lot when I am going through the process and I’m in the trenches. But after I’ve dealt with it and completed that time, then I am very open about things in my life – whatever it may be. I live it, and then I release it. For me, that’s the only way to truly be healthy. Some things I hold on to longer, and some things I don’t.

My mom struggles with this – it really bothers her that I like to be alone, because she wants to help. For example, right now, I’m sick, and she has texted me 25 times! I appreciate it, but I just want to be by myself – I’ll call if I need something! In this specific instance, I also didn’t go to my mother because she didn’t understand my divorce. To be fair to her — I had never shared the ins and outs of my relationship with her. But to be fair to me – it’s because she wasn’t willing to listen. After time had passed and we had allowed everything to settle, we had the talk you saw last night. Obviously, it was much longer than what you saw, and so much good came out of it. Since that conversation, she’s never once had anything negative to say about my divorce. So it was a success. As long as we learn…anything is a success!

Talking with Hadley About Dating Sucks

Two episodes down – I’m still not used to seeing myself on TV. I was getting food yesterday and this teenage girl said to me, “I hope you don’t take offense, but you look just like the lady on ‘Southern Belles,’ has anyone ever told you that?” So I said, “no,” and she kept going on – “Oh it’s this new show, it’s on Thursdays at 10, you look like the lady on the show with blonde curly hair. She’s really pretty, she’s the one that just got a divorce you know, and she has this dog that humps everything all the time”…she basically gave me the run down on my storyline! I just started laughing, and she goes “It IS you!”

That was funny, but it’s kind of odd to think that people are watching you and that they know intimate details on your life. Next thing you know people are going to be offering to be my therapist — “This girl is trainwreck, bless her heart.” That’s one thing about the South, by the way — you can say the worst thing about a person, as long as you add “bless her heart”  or “god love her” at the end.

As far as reaction to the premiere in general: people in Louisville are just so happy with the way the city looks. Obviously everyone who lives here knows it’s a beautiful city, but when you see it on TV it’s just like, POW. Louisville plays the sixth “Southern Belle” — everyone involved  with the show really wanted that to shine through, and they were very successful at doing that.

About my business, and the meeting I took for it in this episode let me explain: I wanted to meet with a branding specialist. I was referred to this person, and halfway through our meeting, I found out she was an advertising consultant. Which I realize I was in no way prepared for — I had just come up with the name, and was looking to define a mission statement.

The people who came to talk to me about Dating Sucks really ran the gamut, from your “average joe” type to the gentleman who was interested in having threesomes. But that’s one of the things I love. I love people, I really truly appreciate people — so when I sit and listen to someone talk like that I find it amusing, it’s completely entertaining to me. For me, that’s what makes the world go round. I’ll make off the cuff remarks, but I don’t judge people — I don’t say “you’re wrong” or “you’re right.” I might say “well that’s kind of crazy,” but I don’t judge. Or I’ll say, “the devil’s in him” — I say a lot of things like that. I got it from my Granny — she’s a very religious woman. That’s another thing about living in the South: there are so many great catchphrases that get passed down. I think I use “hog-tie” in this episode as well. I’ve got tons of them. I’m the first to admit I’m a total hillbilly. You’ll hear them throughout the show, I am sure.

My mother, who I call Lulu, is exactly what you think a Lulu would be. She’s a little out there, god love her. Mom’s just funny. My mother likes to be with me a lot. She likes to be all up in my space, and sometimes I’m not such a fan of that. And if I don’t talk to her every day, oh lord, I hear about it. It’s not even good enough if I leave her a voicemail and she leaves me a voicemail and we kind of play phone tag — we have to verbally speak to one another. The day she learned how to text was the greatest day of my life. And teaching her may be my greatest accomplishment! Lulu has been known to text with a butter knife as a stylus.

Anyways, my mom wanted to tease me at the Dating Sucks interviews. When I asked her, physically, what she’s looking for in a man, she thought she’d freak me out by saying she wants a guy with a really big…(pause, so I can imagine the worst) hot air balloon. She loves hot air balloons. And I told her right away: you will regret saying that. Because you will never hear “hot air balloon” on TV!

She’s been really great about the show, as well as my stepmother and sisters. My dad is a little apprehensive, but my dad is just a good old boy — he’s very conservative. I mean, who wants to watch their daughter kiss someone on TV? My Dad doesn’t want to see that, and he certainly doesn’t want to hear me talking to some guys about going to swingers clubs. So I don’t think he’s tuning in (he saw the preview and that was enough!).

Shopping with Julie and Hadley was fun – I love that dress on Hadley, It was just darling. Oh, and my dog, Bubbles, on my shoulder! Okay, just a sidebar: I don’t dress my dog. I don’t have her toenails painted every week — I can barely get mine painted every week. But when she is out and around other people, she sits on my shoulder. She likes to be eye level with everyone.

Finally, regarding setting Julie up on the date, I’ll be honest, it was a little irritating. She was very resistant. She kept saying to me “I’ll do you a favor.” And I’m like, don’t do me a favor!  But, kudos to Julie, she did come around. And once she committed to it she was great — I think it was just taking that initial leap. At the end of the day, I like when people don’t take themselves too seriously.

]]> http://blogs.soapnet.com/southernbelles/kellie/?feed=rss2&p=18 11 http://blogs.soapnet.com/southernbelles/kellie/?p=9 http://blogs.soapnet.com/southernbelles/kellie/?p=9#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 05:58:19 +0000 Kellie http://blogs.soapnet.com.php5-3.dfw1-1.websitetestlink.com/southernbelles/kellie/?p=9 One episode down! I have to admit – I get a bit of anxiety when I see myself on television. You actually see me at one point in the show seeing myself on TV, and I have a panic attack. I always said I wouldn’t watch the show – but now with the blog, I guess I have to!

I think it’s going to be difficult just because I was going through a hard part of my life when we filmed, and I am going to have to relive it again as I watch it (I think I cry the first five episodes). Then again, it could be helpful because it will allow me to see some things that I was unable to see at that time.

My friends and family are excited about the show – my family is especially excited – but I just don’t think that they know exactly what to expect. It’s a big risk, to put your life out there for everyone to see.

There’s been a ton of reaction in Louisville since the publicity started. I think it’s turning out to be a bigger deal than what people possibly thought it would be.

Kellie at the charity event.

Here’s the thing: we had four days to plan this event. And because we did it in such a short amount of time, we were not able to follow the proper protocol to host a fundraising event. We were not able to send out save the dates, we were not able to send invitations. And people in Louisville make plans, it’s very much about their social calendars. People were also apprehensive about the fact that it was filmed – that scared some people away. So was I disappointed about the turnout, and the amount of money we raised? Of course I was. But I also know that if we had been given ample time, things would have been different. You can raise $150,000 in a night – Louisville is that kind of town.

That said, as far as all the girls go – there was no drama there whatsoever. We all did what we were supposed to do. Which yes, included drinking the martinis! We had to get them sold – and what girl doesn’t want a free diamond? So, not to worry, everyone. I woke up hangover free (let’s just say the pours weren’t generous).

Okay, so we might have insisted Kellie tell us about her amazing closet...

I am a freak about my closet. I am so OCD. Jeans are organized by cut, and then within that section, by color and length. My pants have to be hung with the legs to the right, the seat of the pants to the outside, everything lined up evenly at the bottom. My tops are arranged by sleeve length, the cut of the neck, and by color. My t-shirts are organized – everything! There’s a method to the madness.

And the one you see in this episode — it was a downgrade! You should have seen my old closet. It was so sick. Totally “Cribs”-like.