I have certainly spent my fair share of time on a lake and in the woods. All the men in my family are huge outdoorsmen – they hunt and they fish. My Dad is a jack of all trades, he can do anything and everything you could possibly imagine. If we had to live in the woods, he could completely take care of our family. So were these things hobbies of mine? No. I don’t sit and count the days for deer season to open, but at the same time, I was surrounded by it my entire life.

My style is very classic. I tend to not take myself too seriously though, so I would absolutely go out dressed as one of the other girls, I could care less. My mood drives what I wear, but so does the situation. I don’t think it’s necessarily appropriate to wear a skirt with your monkey hanging out to church, but if you’re going to go out to a bar – yeah, hey, maybe it works!
Yes sometimes I can be a bit motherly, especially with these girls. I’m older and I feel like I’ve lived alot. I can be very nurturing…but I usually know when to shut my mouth! (I said usually.)

Okay – with the grocery shopping last night – I looked like I totally contradicted myself. But here’s the deal: I have a really big issue with processed foods. If something can survive in a cabinet for longer than a week, I don’t think you should put it in your body on a consistent basis. Is it okay to eat a Twinkie every once in awhile? Yes. Anything in moderation is fine. Sweet little Hadley loves her junk food, especially the little chocolate cupcakes with cream filling…yeah you know the kind. Well we had just had a conversation and I had suggested that if she is determined to eat those she should include some fresh veggies in her diet to help flush out the toxins. Again…anything in moderation is fine. Just like any good mother (wink & smile) I was only allowing a percentage of our cart to be filled with junk: one box of cupcakes was sufficient! So believe me when I say, I am not above eating unhealthy food. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Being at the lake was extremely difficult for me. Up until that weekend my schedule had been so hectic and I was just going through the motions. Once I had a little alone time that’s when everything just hit me. I love to cook when I am feeling overwhelmed…it’s an escape. So I thought we were in the perfect place for unhealthy food…I got my fix and Hadley got hers! Not to mention, I was in dire need of fried green tomatoes.

There are three things I address in this episode, my eating disorder, my past drug use, and my miscarriage. First, my eating disorder – and this is not something I am sure everyone will get from watching the show — my eating disorder is in what I like to call in remission, and has been for almost five years. But when I am having issues (for example when I was dealing with the resolution of my divorce) that’s when I have to become ultra-aware and sensitive to make sure those unhealthy behaviors don’t sneak up on me. It’s like being a recovering alcoholic: even if you’re in recovery you’re still an alcoholic. Just wanted to clarify because that is something I am very proud of. Lots of work has gone into my “sobriety”.

The drug use was a problem in my past– but not as bad as it may have seemed on the show. It started to interfere with my interpersonal relationships, and that was a red flag for me, so I stopped it before it became a big deal — I never went to treatment. I said last night that I had to have my septum repaired. But there were a lot of factors outside of drugs in that case. I have severe allergies (I have to get four allergy shots a week!) and I have used allergy nasal medications for a long time. My doctor said that it was a combination of those things, plus genetically, my septum was very thin. Anyhow – I’m not trying to minimize the issue, but there were multiple reasons.

So the eating disorder was much more difficult for me than drugs ever could be. I always say to people – you have to eat food every day. You don’t have to be around drugs every day. And 80% of our population struggles with eating disorders. People don’t understand that overeating is a an eating disorder too. You don’t have to be anorexic or bulimic to have an eating disorder. So I think it’s a much more difficult issue, and one that should be taken seriously.

Finally – my miscarriage was very difficult, but it wasn’t a big deal opening up to the girls about it. I’m a very private person. I don’t like to share a lot when I am going through the process and I’m in the trenches. But after I’ve dealt with it and completed that time, then I am very open about things in my life – whatever it may be. I live it, and then I release it. For me, that’s the only way to truly be healthy. Some things I hold on to longer, and some things I don’t.

My mom struggles with this – it really bothers her that I like to be alone, because she wants to help. For example, right now, I’m sick, and she has texted me 25 times! I appreciate it, but I just want to be by myself – I’ll call if I need something! In this specific instance, I also didn’t go to my mother because she didn’t understand my divorce. To be fair to her — I had never shared the ins and outs of my relationship with her. But to be fair to me – it’s because she wasn’t willing to listen. After time had passed and we had allowed everything to settle, we had the talk you saw last night. Obviously, it was much longer than what you saw, and so much good came out of it. Since that conversation, she’s never once had anything negative to say about my divorce. So it was a success. As long as we learn…anything is a success!

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